I’m not doing so great – coronavirus, climate collapse and fear of the future


May 11, 2020 by Cláudia

Over the past two weeks, I’ve written several drafts to post – some of them quite interesting and relevant to current issues, if I may say. But none of them felt appropriate for this exact moment. For now, I don’t really want to discuss current issues critically. I need some time to be heartbroken. So I decided to write this short note instead, let’s call it a heart-to-heart, because I think we all need to collectively take some time to mourn everything we’ve lost.

Every life that has been prematurely taken. Every family that has been broken. All the individual heartbreak behind daily statistics.

The sacrifice of healthcare professionals, who are completely burned out, risking their lives and wellbeing (both physical and mental), and facing some real tough decisions.

The lost normalcy. The lost rituals. The lost day to day life. A carelessness that almost seems naive now.

The lost close physical social contact. Hugs. Social gatherings.


Even though I ‘m extremely privileged, my life has still changed dramatically.

I miss long walks in nature. I miss close proximity. I miss friends and family.

I have not been doing so well. And that’s okay.

We’re living a period of collective trauma that is unprecedented for many of us.

I have been feeling cumulatively fearful about the current situation: not only the current public health crisis, but especially about what will happen to our “normality” because of it.

Crises are usually followed by dramatic change, which can go either way: socially responsible ambitious plans that put people over profit or disaster capitalism responses that accentuate corporate power and minority oppression. Millions around the world are left with no job or income, inequalities are being cruelly emphasised, racist and misanthropic discourses are becoming normalized. Governments are planning massive bailouts for polluting industries and bank rescues, while the number of people living below the poverty line starkly increases.

Climate action has been alarmingly absent from public discourse and policies. Extreme climate events are still occurring (in fact it is predicted that this year will be the warmest since record), but they are now worryingly in the background.

2020 was supposed to be the first year of a decade of profound transformations. Decade zero. By 2020 We Rise Up.

And apparently it is. Yet I now deeply worry about what those transformations will entail.

Is this the moment we have been waiting for to finally begin the changes that we need to build a world that is not only inhabitable for future generations but much more fair and humane?

Or is this the beginning of the triumph of corporate power, capital and hate discourse?

I don’t know.

I also don’t know exactly what to do to fight for the world I dream of. 

But I think, for the present moment, that is okay. It is okay that I’m worried. It is okay that I am lost. It is okay to mourn. It is okay to take time.

Take care of yourselves and each other. I hope to be back soon with my full-strength.


6 thoughts on “I’m not doing so great – coronavirus, climate collapse and fear of the future

  1. aviottjohn says:

    These sentiments are widely shared, so many will find your post helpful.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Claudia, please don’t mourn so much that it does you harm. From your blog I see that you are a fine, warm, sensitive and very intelligent person, and artistic. You are young and I am old, and from that perspective let me tell you that you can have a long life of being a positive influence on many for decades to come, just by staying psychologically strong, engaged and enthused by your creative projects and also no doubt your family and friendship interactions. That will be – is – how you will inject much needed goodness into this too often crazy, sad world of yours. But this world also has its beauty, its nobility, its solace, and those qualities come in part from Nature’s bounty, but also very much from the grace of “human-hearted” (as the ancient Chinese put it) human source-points of that goodness I mentioned. From what I’ve seen of the world, you are the kind of person who is meant to be such a source-point. So, I urge you to take good care of yourself by having confidence in yourself; don’t let the trials and tribulations of life (and believe me, I know they can be devastating) ever defeat you. I assure you, if you keep your light burning, it will cast its warming glow on many others in the future, and you will feel fulfilled. Tangibly, I can only offer you about 3 minutes of aural beauty and delight: a recent recording made by my younger daughter (about your age). Think of it an a temporal oasis in this desert-time of quarantine and glumness. Enjoy. https://youtu.be/FWQ5UhilE6Y

    Liked by 1 person

    • Cláudia says:

      Thank you for your message. I find that I do my best when I allow myself to feel what I feel, then pull myself back up. It’s okay to not be okay. These are difficult times, and more difficult times are lying ahead. It’s okay if we are not feeling our best.
      Stay safe! 😌


    • Cláudia says:

      Thank you for sharing, that was a beautiful song!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. […] I’m not doing so great – coronavirus, climate collapse and fear of the future […]


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